some random musings over coffee

dining solo.

in the past few weeks i’ve considered this topic greatly.  with the help of the new gastronomica, in addition to best food writing of 2010 and even lucky peach, the notion of dining alone has been thoroughly covered.  it was really gastronomica’s table for one by matt goulding that made me ponder this task that is daunting for most.

personally, i love eating alone.  there’s nothing more comforting than pulling up a bar stool and sitting in silence for an hour or two (generally two).  at the same time, i see and understand why people are afraid of dining alone.  in addition to the obvious reasons, there are more personal, subconscious and universal reasons behind the inherent intimidation that dining alone seems to have on the average person.

perhaps a major reason why people hate eating alone is because they care what others think.  from a restaurant worker’s standpoint, i can honestly say that I do not judge one tops.  not every server/bartender/chef thinks that a solo diner has been stood up/is weird/etc., etc.  Especially solo diners who are comfortable eating alone.  It’s one thing when you’re hiding behind a cell phone screen, but when a one-top is completely present, not distracted by media, that’s when you can really have a great dining experience.

I do however, have some qualms about dining solo.  In my experience, the best meals I’ve ever had, have been shared with one other person.  Though others have disagreed with me, saying that the company tends to take away (or distract) from the food, I don’t feel that way.  With the right dining companion, you don’t have to worry about your meal being compromised by a trivial argument, a mutual misunderstanding, or awkward silence.  In fact, it’s often a good thing to have the best meals of your life with someone else.  That is for me, anyway.

Places such as Next, Alinea, Noma, Uchi, El Celler de can Roca, are meant to be shared with someone.  Granted, you shouldn’t go with a babe you just met, or an acquaintance, but a seasoned diner.  A like minded individual.  Someone who you can relate to, someone that you’d like to share one of the better meals of your life with.  Someone you’re willing to spend at least 4 hours with indulging in provoking food and quality drink.  If you don’t have that person in your life, then go alone.  While it might be hard to recount for later acquaintances, at least there will be no spite towards an inadequate dining companion.  And if you’re someone who doesn’t care about these things, then do the following: disregard this entire post.  Also, stop propagating the stigma behind solo dining.

If you’re not a secure person, than you’ll have a difficult time eating alone.  It’s really not as painful as you might think.  Typically the only pain you should feel is the yearning for companionship that might hit you every once and a while.

coffee & cigarettes

it’s a natural combination.  let me say this:

big bodied chocolate, caramel, raisin, smokey notes combined with rising dirt, brandied cherries, citrus, and nuttiness. 

whoever said that wine and cheese was a natural affinity clearly didn’t do their research behind coffee and tobacco.

portion size (minimalism, a route americans dislike… obviously)

smaller is better.  it’s the quality not the quantity.  maxims i live by.  these don’t just refer to size and friendship, but food also.  the minimalist approach to food has certainly tried to take root in american culture, but the majority seems to be rejecting the beauty behind restrained portions.  they don’t see the beauty in intricate small plate designs, nor do they see the amount of labor that goes behind breaking down flavor profiles and building up rather than putting a menagerie of flavors and components on a plate.  sure, you might not be getting a 12oz steak, but do you know what has replaced the 6oz lost? creativity, thought, processes, labor.  let’s do a comparison.

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Sure, the sundae on the bottom is beautiful.  A quintessential Ice Cream Sundae.  But don’t you think it’s a bit much? Can’t we begin straying away from that? A hot mess.  Nothing strategically placed, no rhyme or reason? I know that Big Macs, speak to the American notion that bigger is better, but it’s time to abandon that mindset and move onto smaller and better things.

4 comments
  1. Nice posting. While I very much agree with you that certain meals should be shared with (the right) people, I find that my solo dining experiences are often the most satisfying ones.

    There is a bit of a stigma associated with it, but—as you note—its often rooted in the insecurity of others. Once you put the whole “what others think” thing behind it, its a non-issue. I’ve been dining alone on a regular basis for the last 15 years and, at this point, really couldn’t care less about what some patron two tables over may or may not be thinking about me.

    It helps that solo dining is also not nearly as uncommon as it once was. With the large numbers of business travelers around the world, its not at all uncommon to find the bars of local restaurants like Walter’s or Street & Company populated by solo diners.

    Which brings me to bar dining… often, another plus. You don’t have to make reservations and you can usually dress a little more casually than you might if you were sitting at a table. I find that the service level tends to be quite a bit better when I’m at the bar, and the conversation (if I’m looking for it) tends to be better too.

    (That said, when the service at the bar is bad, its often REALLY bad… and more annoying than bad wait service can sometimes be.)

    I sit at the bar probably 70% of the time. But I also enjoy sitting at a table every now and then, spreading out my newspaper or taking in the scenery around me.

  2. People who are afraid to dine alone are just channeling their fears of dying alone. And they are all already fucking dead to me.

  3. MaizinBlueGirl said:

    I truly appreciate your post. While I am normally extremely comfortable with dining along, I was unsure how well that would work out for a meal at El Celler de Can Roca. Before I arrived in Barcelona, several friends said that they would join me, but now everyone has pretty much backed out. Which leaves me pondering whether I should brave it alone, or wait for next time…

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